Explaining the joke is usually not funny, but here goes.
From Ted: In 1803 French Pirate Jean Lafitte set up his own kingdom in theswamps of New Orleans, but it apparently didn't work out so well.
A further IM conversation:
Jane: so why exactly didn't that guy's pirate kingdom work out so well?
Ted: I think Thomas Jefferson purchased Louisiana right after he started his pirate kingdom, and he was like, eh, I'll just move.....to galveston, texas.
Jane: really?
Ted: lemme check wikipedia
Jane: also, I thought I had ice cream, but I TOTALLY FUCKING DON'T.
Ted: i didn't like, RESEARCH that very well.
Jane: noted.
frankly I would have been disappointed if you had. That sucks out all the comedy.
[three minutes pass]
Ted: oh, there's a town with his name. Jean Lafitte, Lousiana.
Jane: so he did succeed?
Ted: "Jean" is actually part of the town's name.
That's more egotistical than just calling it "Lafitte", so yes.
Jane: Cool. I shall now update my brains.
Ted: Also this guy has like 8 places listed as his place of death.
"we're not sure where he died, but he did die, and he died a lot."
He married (but did not have any children with) Madeleine Ragaud. Jean is also known to have had one illegitimate child with Catherine Villars; descendants of Pierre Lafitte (born 1816) live in Louisiana to this day. Both Ragaud and Villars were quadroons, one-fourth black and three-fourths French.
!!
Jane: Quadroon ^5!
T: ^5
He claimed to command more than 3,000 men and provided them as troops for the Battle of New Orleans in 1815, greatly assisting Andrew Jackson in repulsing the British attack. The actual number he commanded was more likely a few dozen, although since they specialized in artillery their effect was substantial.
that's awesome.
Some guys + a cannon = 3,000.
Jane: this guy's life is far more entertaining than any macro could ever make it.
Ted: "The park [named after Lafitte] consists of six physically separate sites and a park headquarters."
so his park is six parks that are not connected? Awesome.
Jane: hahahaha wtf.
Ted: i'll bet they all have cannons
Jane: me: that is awesome, his legacy prevails in nonsensical parks.
Ted: they're in different towns. It's not like there's a road or a Home Depot between them.